Ask The Preacher's Wife: "I am in a same-sex relationship and struggling to reconnect to Christ"

Ask The Preacher's Wife: "I am in a same-sex relationship and struggling to reconnect to Christ"

Dear Lady Mel,

“The other day we had some church folk stop by our house. I invited them in, we sat and talked. They told us about their church, I told them about our family dynamic. They told us they teach from the bible and questioned if we knew it based on our [same-sex] relationship. Then they stated the bible is against our kind of relationship; however, we could still come to their church, but we couldn’t do any teaching of any kind. They told us they would try to love us in spite of our relationship. The vibe was completely off after that. Then they prayed with us and said in the prayer “Lord, they know what the bible says!” And kept it moving. The hugs at the end weren’t genuine, which my wife and I picked up on. It was very discouraging.

I am struggling spiritually and I really thought it was a sign to get back in church when they came initially. However, after they left I was like ‘and this is why I cant go’. I really do want to find a church that our family or at least me and the kids could attend that feels welcoming and helps me refocus on my personal relationship with God. I miss going to church and getting the word to rejuvenate and or be able to reflect upon. What are you and your husband’s thoughts about this?” -

Dear MGB,

As a Christian, my heart breaks that you feel unable to connect to the Ultimate source of power and strength, through Jesus.  THAT is NOT Ok! 

However, you cannot understand the reconciling power of Jesus without first understanding who God is in the context of the creation of the world.

God’s original design/plan for us, was disrupted because of “the sin problem”. That’s not about individual sin, but about sin entering the world and as a result, we as human beings, missing the mark. Therefore, everybody from the “fall” of Adam and Eve in the garden, is born into sin. We all took a trip at the sin store and picked up some stuff at birth, which automatically separates us from God and keeps us from living God’s original and perfect plan for us.  In Genesis, God’s original plan was for us to be in a heterosexual union. There were also other ways that God intended for us to live; for example, eating only the seed-bearing fruits of the land, not having to work to earn a living, pain-free labor, walking around butt-bald naked (Hey…it’s in the Book).  

Because of the sin problem (Missing the mark) and because all of us are born into sin, we can not reach perfection on our own. None of us can ever do it, regardless of how much church we go to or how much bible we read, because all of us, regardless of our sexual orientation, gender, race, etc., have been impacted by the sin problem.

So, God sent Jesus as the sacrifice to atone for the sin and reconcile us back to perfection. So, now, because of Jesus, God does not see our sexual orientation, nor our mean attitudes, or our unloving nature or any other flaw caused by the sin problem. God sees us as our originally created selves in His eyesight.

Accepting Jesus is the key. We are saved from eternal separation from God when we confess with our mouth and believe in our hearts that Jesus is Lord. After that, The Holy Spirit works through us and helps direct us in our everyday living.

Sadly, when we do things intentionally and unintentionally because of bad theology and point people away from Christ, we are also not living in our purpose, which as Christians, is to spread the Gospel.

It’s all about pointing people to Jesus. Periodt. Yes, as Christians, the Bible gives us the framework to live, as the inspired word of God, but it’s only through salvation, which doesn’t come with conditions, that the Holy Spirit can do the sanctifying.  The Holy Spirit is what helps us move away from sin.  The Spirit guides us and convicts us to live in a certain manner.  The Holy Spirit may move you away from certain things in your life.  However, it is still possible to be a Christian and have the Holy Spirit dwelling within and still struggle. 

As Christians, we need to get people to Christ. And to do that we have to understand the whole context of sin, and how God sought to correct it through Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

But there’s still church culture and black culture and American culture that makes people act like they forgot who Jesus was/is. And that’s where there is work to be done in our churches.

My prayer is that you and your family can reconnect with a body of believers under a spiritual leader that will help you develop your relationship with God.  And I believe God will certainly lead you.

Peace and Love,

Lady Mel

We must do a better job at pointing people to Christ. What are your thoughts? Comment below.

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